Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize