just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
