Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
