He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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