Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
