Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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