So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
