Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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