what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
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in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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