Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
