i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
