i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
