I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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