i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
