there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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