ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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