I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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