put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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