'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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