i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize