its not stalking. its research.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
