i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
