You work out of a Hotel?
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
