I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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