well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
