everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
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