Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
that may or may not have been my penis.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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