I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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