they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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