the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
