found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
