New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
