Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
