Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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