Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
