you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
50% drunk capacity currently
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
