i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
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KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
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Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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