I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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