I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
