I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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