I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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