if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Fuck appropriateness.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The Olympian is in my bed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
