I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
