Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
