NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
