Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
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Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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