i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
