isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
