you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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