I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
