found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
