He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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