If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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