He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
