Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
