dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
