mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
