I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
