Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
